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April '98:
Lesbians
in Thailand
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Sulayman X
Mardi Party
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Letters
Vol 1. No 7. April, 1998
EDITORIAL
A difficult coalition
The following comment is in response to the "Monogamy or not to be" editorial in the March 98 issue of Pink Ink.
What a shock! To pick up Thailand's gay and lesbian monthly and find an article by Nick Wilde supporting the tired old cliché that men have some biological imperative to need sexual variety, whereas women are biologically suited to monogamy! Actually, given that biological explanations for sexual practices are a venerated western tradition, with such precedents as justifying women's exclusion from politics or blacks' natural suitability for hard labour, Nick's ideas are not surprising. Is this what the "rainbow" queer (read: male) coalition is all about?
Whatever the biological truth is of men's and women's natures is hard to say, but social mechanisms that influence, control, stigmatise and valorise behaviour are easy to see.
Women don't need sexual variety, huh? What happens when women need sex outside of marriage in Thai or western society? They are vilified as hell-bound whores.
Speaking of Thailand, heterosexual women I have interviewed said that they too would like to see what it is like with other men, but they don't dare because of the way others will react. How is it possible that men can pretend such unconscionable ignorance of the double standards that society perpetuates regarding men's and women's needs?
Women have traditionally been bound to men for reasons of financial security and social standing - factors that depend on proper feminine behaviour, that is, no screwing around. Women who are no longer dependent on these factors face the same dilemma that Nick speaks of - the trade-off between maintaining a long-term love relationship and the desire for sexual experience.
No easy answers here, as many lesbians will tell you. Biological explanations usually justify existing social norms. We all make decisions on our behaviour and are responsible for those decisions.
So make your choice and live with it, and don't try to push off responsibility for your actions by saying it is your biological imperative. And most of all, don't tell women about our sexuality.
Don't bother to ask why lesbians feel fed up with the
"rainbow coalition." Your article could have
been written by any heterosexual man. Please tell me what
we have in common.
- Megan Sinnott
Editors' comment: Coalition between gay men and lesbians is difficult. Sometimes the only thing we have in common is that we're not straight. We don't always agree on the content of articles that we both write but we do agree that by pooling our resources, we can be more effective in achieving social change to benefit both gay men and lesbians. We welcome diverse opinions.
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