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Vol 1. No 3. December, 1997
Braving Worlds of Disapproval
Crab Boy with Jennifer Bliss
The question asked by most foreign lesbians arriving in Bangkok is, 'Where do the girls go?' It can be tough playing spot the dyke in the City of Angels. Here's why
The main reasons Thai lesbians hide their sexuality are the powerful influences of the culture and society, and the negative attitudes of others toward homosexuality in general and lesbians in particular.
What do Thai culture and society teach us? A gay American friend of mine, who has been living in Thailand for over 11 years, made an insightful observation: "The culture teaches people that you must get married and have children; being a homosexual is against the culture." He was right. As in other Asian societies, Thais are expected to marry an approved person, raise children and maintain their marriage through out their lifetime. Although this attitude is not so obvious among urban, westernized Thais, it is evident in rural areas as well as in Thai novels, both classic and modern, and in popular television soap operas.
How does this frame of thought influence Thai lesbians? In a word, self-hatred. Most people, lesbians included, think that being a lesbian is wrong, contemptible, disgusting and against nature. Well-meaning but misguided people feel that they should prevent it from happening. They will socially punish lesbians, butches in particular, with gossip, public disapproval and disdainful looks. Some pillars of society take it further into the realm of discrimination by not hiring obvious lesbians for work and not admitting them to educational institutions. Thai society takes a more collective approach than individualistic western societies -- close-knit families and communities are the norm, and the group is considered more important than each individual. So the discrimination experienced by a lesbian not only hurts her but her family as well. Even though other members of a lesbian's family will not be so strongly discriminated against as the deviant herself, they will be made to feel ashamed by insidious gossip and meaningful looks. How does this social pressure affect the way Thai families treat their lesbian members? Reactions vary.
Some families do not care about what other people think and they try to help their lesbians members through all the difficulties they face. Other families do care about the gossip, but don't do anything about it, while some pass their pain on to their lesbian members through verbal and/or physical attacks. Yes, I'm talking about beatings. This sort of domestic violence can be found in every socio-economic level of society, no matter how high their education is, how rich they are, what sort of work they do, or where they live.
Pretty serious, hey? It's no simple matter to come out of the closet when there's so much at stake. All lesbians and gay men who have struggled with coming terms with their sexuality are heroes, Thai dykes included.
Next issue, I'll talk about how Thai lesbians feel about themselves and their anticipation of the difficulties they may encounter if they reveal their homosexuality.
Bye for now and have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
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